Interesting phone call. My 12 year old niece (whose gorgeous development has all of us {especially her mother} on our guard lately), called recently to ask advice on boys. Whoa. Well, at least it was for a friend of hers. It seems that her friend likes a certain boy and my niece thinks the boy likes her friend. The problem is they are both terribly shy. So my niece is left with the difficult task of helping these two "tweens" break the ice and talk to each other.
After speaking with my husband, as she wanted a guy's point of view, she then talked to me on the phone and said she was so confused. I told her that she was now right on target and welcome to womanhood! She went on to say that she would never understand men, and again, I welcomed her into the club.
However, it reminded me of another recent incident. I screwed up and made a big mess of a situation and it was totally senseless because I overreacted. So, I sucked it up and apologized and asked for forgiveness. That's when it hit me. The person I apologized to and asked forgiveness of....I couldn't remember the last time they ever apologized to me for anything or even hinted at asking for forgiveness, even though this person manages to cause me hurt and pain. I suddenly realized that I'm the one always apologizing (don't worry, it's not my husband), and even though this other person can be hateful and hurtful at times, they never apologize.
It got me to thinking that teaching our children to say "I'm sorry, I messed up, please forgive me," may be the best thing we ever do for their future relationships. I certainly wouldn't want my child going through life causing pain and suffering and not being able to own up to it and receive the healing of forgiveness and a change of behavior.
I also began to wonder, if we can never say "please forgive me" or "I'm sorry" to people we have relationships with, whether as close as immediate family or the other end of the spectrum, then how can we approach God? Does our inability to communicate on the "horizontal level" with our fellow mankind mean that we also don't have what it takes to communicate on the "vertical level" with our Lord and Maker?
And it's not just the words, I'm sorry. What about "good job, way to go, thanks for all your hard work, I appreciate all you've done." If you find yourself having a hard time communicating with someone, you may be having difficulty communicating with God as well, and it might just be time to stop and learn how to say "I'm sorry."
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4 comments:
I think saying sorry is hard in part because some people don't know how to receive an apology and forgive. They say or act like, "See, I told you so" or "You made your bed, now sleep in it." In other words, too often they like to rub your nose in it.
If I was certain that I'd be forgiven, I'd be certain to apologize more. Confessing to God is a lot easier for me because I KNOW He forgives.
Believe me, I can relate! I have apologized for the last decade for some of my actions, but I doubt I will ever be forgiven. Gotta move on without it now...
Hook you are absolutely right, not enough words of encouragement and affirmation in our world today. My husband and I have talked about this, and even though we encourage/affirm each other often, sometimes we need it most from those who give it least, such as a noncommunicative boss or an ungrateful colleague.
Trailady,
Ouch! Yes, I know all too well what it's like to say sorry, please forgive me and then 2 years later the person who "gave me forgivness" brings it up again as a reason to be angry at me.
Yes, it does make us want to not even bother saying I'm sorry or asking for forgiveness. This is the time that I plead for help from the Lord. Even though they may not do the right thing, it doesn't absolve me from doing the right thing. Glad to know there is someone else out there with the same struggle and overcoming it by the Blood of the Lamb!
Is this an example of how Jesus can't be of help to us? I mean, He never needed to ask forgiveness from anyone, right? And yet He forgave all the time, even for his proud brothers, who falsy drummed up faults and failures in Jesus. They always felt superior to Him and even condescended to explain the scriptures to Him who was the truth. But He made Himself of no reputation, and humbly accepted the abuse of His closest family members. I was so bad that He found it a relief to go where they weren't and in the home of Lazarus He found a kindred spirit.
So, we aren't alone in the lack of reciprocation we experience. In fact, we have a long way to go to suffer and forgive as much as Christ did.
Take care, RoseOfSharon. Nice to hear from you.
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